QDB.us, Here We Come!
Snippet of a conversation me and a friend just had:
Her: u x nak sanding kan?
Me: yeah
Me: i thought the idea is gay
Her: definitely
Her: looking like a pair of idiots on the pelamin
Her: haha
Me: it’s not idiotic
Me: bein the king of the day sure allows u to be retarded n just sit there
Me: while ppl drizzle juices all over u
Me: like u’re some plant
Her: LOL
I’m against the idea of bersanding. Definitely will not be getting one on my wedding.
April 21st, 2006 at 5:45 am
btw , im not against the idea of bersanding.
but , kalau bersanding kat public. thats a big no-no for me.
tangkap gamba w/ families untuk kenangan sudah ;)
April 21st, 2006 at 11:58 am
There’s no such thing as “bersanding in private.”
Unless you’re talking about those kawin-kawin games played during our childhood years.
April 24th, 2006 at 1:14 am
Well my friend, sometimes the decision is not yours to make.
As you’ll eventually learn, weddings are rarely for the bride and groom.
I’ll bet half of my Microsoft shares that when your day comes, you’ll definitely “bersanding” and there’s nothing you can do about it.
April 28th, 2006 at 10:29 am
what if the girl doesn’t want to ‘bersanding’ but the guy wants to?
btw i think ‘bersanding’ is just a symbolic thingy ofr celebration for the wedding.
the important thing is the akad nikah.
April 28th, 2006 at 8:22 pm
bersanding tu, sebenarnya haram kan?
April 29th, 2006 at 9:33 am
Azmeen, I’ll agree with you, mostly. But bear in mind that not all parents have that sort of mindset. Bersanding is mostly a function so that the parents could parade their son or daughter to their friends.
Most of the time, the parents would do it just to shut the neighbor’s and relatives’ mouth.
Shad, so far I haven’t found any guy who would advocate bersanding. Since the wedding expenses are to be borne by the groom (not always true, but this is in a friend’s case,) had we been given the chance, we would just hold the akad nikah function only.
Neemo, since i’ve yet found the fatwa regarding the hukum status of bersanding, i’m not going to say much. However, in my opinion it is in the gray zone.
Had it been a choice for me to make, i’d hold my wedding the Arab way—in the masjid.
May 2nd, 2006 at 4:04 pm
i read/heard from somewhere that bersanding depan family setakat nak amik gamba and whatnot tu boleh. but bersanding ‘publicly’, tak boleh. Hmm.
May 9th, 2006 at 11:26 pm
The thing is in Malaysia, the akad is a ceremony attended only by close family members.
The whole idea of the marriage ceremony (doesn’t really have to be a persandingan) is to let people know that you and spouse are married to avoid any speculations. Just letting people know here also means calling for a celebration which may differ in different families.
What we have in our country is basically tradition. That’s all.
p/s: What’s with you and everything being gay anyway? Yihhh! Betul2 gay nanti baru tau!
May 10th, 2006 at 4:18 am
muahahahahaha! omar gay :D
May 12th, 2006 at 9:22 pm
You are right of course, Naz. I’m okay with the wedding banquet ceremony. It’s just bersanding that I have a thing against.
Speaking of bersanding, I have to attend a reception tomorrow. An ex-boss of mine.
Oh Naz, i’m not going to walk into a trap knowingly. ;)
Neemo, gay means happy, so what’s wrong with me being happy? :D
May 12th, 2006 at 11:58 pm
Speaking of bersanding, I dreamt that you were married (note: not you GETTING married but ALREADY married) a few nights ago. Gila apa! Hahah!
Is it gonna be anytime soon? My dream could’ve been a sign for you. Haha boleh x camtuh? :p
May 14th, 2006 at 1:32 pm
i still want that garden wedding. public access to the celebrated couple. =)
May 14th, 2006 at 11:41 pm
i think i’m still too young to think about stuffs like these now.. hmm.
May 15th, 2006 at 1:48 am
Naz, if it happened in your dream, it would have been a sign for you. So, don’t forget to send me an invitation too.
Eine, I don’t think any celebrated couple would want public access to themselves. Do you?
Neemo, you’re too old not to think about these stuff. Haha!
May 15th, 2006 at 1:50 am
On second thought, that rhymed!
May 16th, 2006 at 4:35 pm
yeah , lets see how mr-great-omar-khayam organizes his wedding ceremony. I’m reaaally looking forward to see that.
Counting the days ;)
May 17th, 2006 at 10:37 am
Ditto that. Ntah2 dia yang bersanding sampai 10 persalinan nanti :p
May 18th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
Cry4freedom & Naz, knowing myself, I might end up giving in to their (parents and in-laws) customs and desires– and that includes bersanding.
Which is why it is prudent to find potential in-laws that don’t find bersanding to be a crucial celebration component.
May 20th, 2006 at 1:13 am
my family doesn’t think bersanding is crucial. so omar, kawin jom?
HAHAHAHA.
update la weh.
May 24th, 2006 at 12:51 am
boy..what a pathetic malay u r….what a shame…a malay boy who doesnt respect his own culture anymre….well comparing dis
–> Me: i thought the idea is gay….. with d word gay is so rude….perhaps u shld go back to skool….study the form1-5 history text book…know where u came from…know ur nature….know ur role as a malayman! in our community….
dun dare to said something dat u r not rili understood what the hell it is all about, unless u r born to be the next malaysia PM then everybody will agree with u…
HIDUP MELAYU!!!
May 24th, 2006 at 1:47 am
You know what, Hang Tuah? You sound like this one friend who said this to me many times:
If you ask me, "Tuah", i’d say right now, already the Malay customs and traditions are suffering a rapid decline in practice–as in, many people are "Malay" by lineage, not heritage.
May 25th, 2006 at 1:20 am
do u know y malay r not practicing their malay culture? my answer will be simple, its becoz d influence of d permanent hell residence [jews,christian]. it might be complicated to elaborate it here as i underestimate how good ur history, geneal, malay knowledge r. as u r kinda nerd freaks, go and read some facts. it might help u to improve ur knowledge and get some respect.
May 25th, 2006 at 9:43 pm
Hang Tuah: Do u know that ‘bersanding’ idea was heritaged from Hindu’s culture? In Islam , there’s no bersanding and last time i checked its only ‘akad nikah’ which is still a rule of thumb in marriage.
So it is up to him either he wants to ‘bersanding’ or not , besides he didnt insult whoever follows the idea of bersanding. It is his own right
Most importantly , this is his blog , he can write anything he wants
Oh yes btw , please go back to school and learn to
spillspell properly.May 25th, 2006 at 11:40 pm
cry4freedom, did ur parent went 4 the bersanding ceremony b4? so shall i call them hindu? then u r a hindu baby? pity u asshole. think b4 u talk.
May 25th, 2006 at 11:45 pm
Tuah, there isn’t always an easy answer to that. Influences are just influences. Nobody forced the Malays to abandon their culture and heritage. They willingly did so.
I just couldn’t see the point in rebutting any of your sentences, Tuah, as they are comprised of mostly rubbish.
cry4freedom, quite a sizable number of the Malay traditions, has its roots in Hinduism. Remember, the Srivijayan Parameswara was a Hindu ruler before he converted to Islam.
May 31st, 2006 at 11:28 am
Well guys, let’s jump to the conclusion, if you think that bersanding is sounds reasonable and necessary to you then do it. If it’s not, then skip.
But if u hate the idea, there is no need to insult that colourful ceremony by saying it’s kinda GAY
After all bersanding is just a tradition that means there’s an option for us.
But I definitely disagree with the words GAY….
May 31st, 2006 at 9:05 pm
Lennon, sir, you seem to have gotten a bit emotional over the issue. If your stance in the issue is pro-bersanding then the opinion is yours, I respect that.
But this is my stance, and the opinion is mine.
I respect your disagreement over the word ‘gay’ that I used. Bear in mind that there are several ways of intrepretation of the word ‘gay’ alone. Kindly consult a dictionary, There are many on the web.
So tell me, isn’t colourful, gay?
June 1st, 2006 at 6:31 pm
The word gay is now standard in its use to refer to homosexuals, in large part because it is the term that most gay people prefer in referring to themselves. Gay is distinguished from homosexual primarily by the emphasis it places on the cultural and social aspects of homosexuality as opposed to sexual practice. Many writers reserve gay for males, but the word is also used to refer to both sexes; when the intended meaning is not clear in the context, the phrase gay and lesbian may be used. Like the other names of social groups derived from adjectives (for example, Black), gay may be regarded as offensive when used as a noun to refer to particular individuals, as in There were two gays on the panel; here phrasing such as gay members should be used instead. But there is no objection to the use of the noun in the plural to refer collectively either to gay men or to gay men and lesbians, so long as it is clear whether men alone or both men and women are being discussed.
refer http://www.dictionary.com
so deslack, still with gay? or u just 1 of em? deslack is gay :P
June 2nd, 2006 at 2:54 pm
I wonder why Both couple In Brokeback Mountain didn’t Bersanding…Hahahaha. They were gay right? (Just joking).hehehe
June 2nd, 2006 at 4:06 pm
Well well…….Bersanding uh?? It is “hard” word when u say bersanding is such a “GAY”. Boy boy……….i’m malay n born in malay culture….. it is an easy understanding that if we r not “backup” our malay culture, so who do u thing to do that??Chinese?Indian?JEWISH>>>>Think about it!!
June 2nd, 2006 at 8:37 pm
I have nothing else to say, Lennon. You just stole the words out of me, knowing you’ve watched the movie.
Adi, for progress’s sake, sacrifices are necessary. Not all traditions are practical, or even sensible to speak. They should be left in the annals of our history books, and we move on, in constant improvisation of ourselves and our surroundings.
Malay isn’t composed of solely bersanding. There are still the Baju Melayu, Baju Kurung the Songkok the Malay culinaries, the Ketupat, which I think symbolises the Malay cultural identity far more than bersanding. Get it?
June 3rd, 2006 at 10:00 pm
hey kiddo (Deslack) i hate to spell it….u did mentiond those baju melayu, baju kurung, and the songkok….since dat u admitd dat u r the modern malays aka improved malay…did u ever wear the baju melayu b4? shall i elaborate here which baju melayu, which songkok, which kain sampin u wore b4?
so Deslack, u r the “modern malays” here rite, so what will u say if ur becoming wife (in case u aint a fagg0t) r dying to go 4 the bersanding ceremony since she expect dat u going to be her 1st and ever soulmate,in addtion her family also put a 200%Newton “Forcing” energy on u to go 4 it. so what will u say? to make my question more tricky, no “bersanding” no “kahwin”.
o0o0owh by the way, 2rw is sunday…church time! :P
June 4th, 2006 at 2:30 am
I fail to see your point there Tuah, you are not making the slightest of sense.
I’ll try negotiation first. And as I have mentioned earlier, while I hold the opinion against bersanding I might succumb to their wishes if they wanted it badly.
I may dislike or hate it utterly, or even label it gay, but that doesn’t mean at all that i’ll refrain from taking part in it, at all costs. I don’t hold a passionate hatred towards the custom.
June 5th, 2006 at 4:35 pm
u faild to c da point? its not surprising as u r always try escaping it or denying the fact….enuf with it…u r like the superhero here since its ur page…
o0o0o0hhh btw u`ll succumb to their wishes if they wantd it badly…so deslack aint a gay at all…congratz…so when u go for the bersanding ceremony..shall i cal u gay then?
after all…just admit dat “bersanding” isnt gay at all..mind ur language…and respect other ppl sensitivity….coz someday ppl might talk sumthg dat might scratch ya badly…
June 14th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
first search on gay at http://thesaurus.reference.com only listed homosexual as the third definition for gay whilst the first two is happy and colorful.
so i am gay. =) and btw Tuah, read Enid Blyton will you? she emphasized the meaning of word gay as in HAPPY and colorful long before gay was recognized as homosexual.
my mom was against bersanding, but she gave in at my dad’s place as he was the first-born from a respectable family. she did it out of respect for my dad’s family. but she didn’t bersanding at her place. in fact, she was the first and only bride in the kampung who broke the bersanding tradition by not going for it at that time.
so, deslack was basically saying that he disliked the bersanding idea but it doesn’t mean he won’t go for it out of pressure or respect. afterall, he’d be the king of the day on his special day and it’s up to him to bersanding or not. or you were fretting coz you’ll be up on the aisle beside him if he decided to bersanding but he decided not to… too bad.. now that is what we call HOMOSEXUAL GAY.
i think parents nowadays are pretty liberal about bersanding. what they cared most about is the hantaran. siapa punya anak perempuan dapat hantaran tertinggi. the race is on. so, Tuah before you think of booking the pelamin to bersanding on, make sure the girl of your dreams’ parents desire doesn’t burn that big a hole in your pocket.
deslack : public access during the party not after the party. :P
June 16th, 2006 at 4:14 am
dear Gay@lesbian eine…sorry i dunno whther u own a dick@hole :P or maybe both…
1st of all…i dun give a damn of ur mom since she came from a respectable family…..so what? dats fucking cocky!!!…no nd to mentiond it here…org dulu2 anak kerani pun nak kata respectable family jgk…sorry if u r belong to a royal family….but i also dun give a damn bout it…
2nd thing here is since u done so much research of gay….if u might have a chance dear..y dun u do a survey…10 ppl is enuf…i bet 9/10 of em will refer d word gay to homosexual thing…in dis case..most of malaysian used the word gay in a meaning of deep relationship of a person who have same gender and intrest in each other (of course male)
3rd thing siapa punya anak perempuan dapat hantaran tinggi eh? well i can tell ya dat only happen to certain family…i think ur parent 1 of them? it havent reach to d serious level yet..but i admitted it happend in our community…..dis one d reason y nowadays we can c so many anak dara tua in malaysia…orang lelaki tak heran kalau tak kahwin pun…berlambak pompuan kat malaysia ni…yg ngaku dara mintak hantaran tinggi2 confirm ker dara? ni ape kes pulak? yg mintak hantaran tinggi tu sedar2 la…klu setakat anak muka mcm selipar…tak payah lerrr…..
June 16th, 2006 at 3:47 pm
It seems that you werent able to accept the other terms of “GAY” Tuah as a fact and official.
A developed mind always think outside of the box , instead of narrowing our mind into something which has potential to be expanded.
Even some of Malay language words , share different meaning. I dont have to mention it here , since you’re proudly self proclaimed as Malay , you have the idea.
This is a matter of our own choice. His idea , and probably ours , since we always share the same opinion. Eventhough some arguement are meant to be but we always keep it healthy in order to respect other people opinion. But you didnt. You keep insulting over and over again.
Please learn how to respect people.
June 20th, 2006 at 4:40 pm
whoa, dh jadi forum?
man, some people just can’t accept the fact that there are other set of opinions and perceptions about this matter eh?
anyway, dear Tuah, whoever u r, u r using a respectable name in our Malay community. for me, i don’t appreciate or respect people who abuses a respectable name by using harsh words or insulting others.
dude, haven’t u heard everyone is entitled to their own opinion?
jadi, tuan Hang Tuah yang berbudi pekerti, janganlah cuba nak memaksa orang menukar persepsi mereka. Setiap orang berhak mempunyai pendapat masing-masing.
Sekian, terima kasih.
June 27th, 2006 at 3:43 pm
shad : urs “janganlah cuba nak memaksa orang menukar persepsi mereka.” can u prove to me which of my phrase did mentioned im forcing ppl to change their opinion?
cry4freedom : keeping healty dude? so malay culture (bersanding) which is gay to u is sihat waalfiat?
and do u guys respect other ppl opinion? i have to say here do u guys do respect me since u keeping backing up ur lovely deslack…it doesnt matter whose on d rite side or wrong….nahh i dun give a damn bout u guys……who r the hell u r?piece of my shit
June 28th, 2006 at 3:48 pm
deslack. should i continue or should i stop? ahaha *smiles wickedly*
tuah, dude, u should deal with deslack. not bashing us all. we’re his friends who happened to support him [although i know deslack is able to defend his own opinion]. btw, about the perception thingy:
“2nd thing here is since u done so much research of gay….if u might have a chance dear..y dun u do a survey…10 ppl is enuf…i bet 9/10 of em will refer d word gay to homosexual thing…in dis case..most of malaysian used the word gay in a meaning of deep relationship of a person who have same gender and intrest in each other (of course male)” - Tuan Hang Tuah
an example. u want us to be a typical Malaysian who only accept one meaning to that word. mcm mana nak maju mcm tu?
“do u know y malay r not practicing their malay culture? my answer will be simple, its becoz d influence of d permanent hell residence [jews,christian]. it might be complicated to elaborate it here as i underestimate how good ur history, geneal, malay knowledge r. as u r kinda nerd freaks, go and read some facts. it might help u to improve ur knowledge and get some respect. ” - Tuan Hang Tuah
yeah we can read facts. We all learn History don’t we? If we do revise History facts dear Tuah, do u think that will change one’s perception? The way your sentences are constructed give me the impression that you’re the only one who’s right, others are totally wrong.
Melayu apa mcm ni kalau asyik maki2 kaum Melayu sendiri? Bukan ke Melayu penuh dengan adab sopan?
oih, malas nak berdebatlah. i have other things to do.
I rest my case.
June 28th, 2006 at 3:48 pm
deslack. should i continue or should i stop? ahaha *smiles wickedly*
tuah, dude, u should deal with deslack. not bashing us all. we’re his friends who happened to support him [although i know deslack is able to defend his own opinion]. btw, about the perception thingy:
“2nd thing here is since u done so much research of gay….if u might have a chance dear..y dun u do a survey…10 ppl is enuf…i bet 9/10 of em will refer d word gay to homosexual thing…in dis case..most of malaysian used the word gay in a meaning of deep relationship of a person who have same gender and intrest in each other (of course male)” - Tuan Hang Tuah
an example. u want us to be a typical Malaysian who only accept one meaning to that word. mcm mana nak maju mcm tu?
“do u know y malay r not practicing their malay culture? my answer will be simple, its becoz d influence of d permanent hell residence [jews,christian]. it might be complicated to elaborate it here as i underestimate how good ur history, geneal, malay knowledge r. as u r kinda nerd freaks, go and read some facts. it might help u to improve ur knowledge and get some respect. ” - Tuan Hang Tuah
yeah we can read facts. We all learn History don’t we? If we do revise History facts dear Tuah, do u think that will change one’s perception? The way your sentences are constructed give me the impression that you’re the only one who’s right, others are totally wrong.
Melayu apa mcm ni kalau asyik maki2 kaum Melayu sendiri? Bukan ke Melayu penuh dengan adab sopan?
oih, malas nak berdebatlah. i have other things to do.
I rest my case.
June 28th, 2006 at 4:03 pm
eh mintak maaf ter-post 2 kali. omar tolong delete, tq.
July 5th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
ahh kau shad nak cakap aku melayu ker tak? dahtu ko pegi la ajar semua org kat malaysia ni makna gay tuh? cuba cakap kat BAPAK ko …cth ni aku nak ajar..ko kan pandai sgt2 la kononye geng2 si deslack yang yer2…ko tanya la kat boss ko mcmni :bapak arini mcm gay la..ko tgk sampai tak kepala lutut dia kat muka ko? so skrng bapak ko pandai tak? aku malas nak citer panjang2…ko bebel2 kat sini konon hebat la buat research sana sini..woii setakat baca article ape lancau semua guna google tak payah la ko nak tunjuk hebat….nak cakap melayu penuh adab sopan…tapi ko sopan ker?ko amalkan ker ape yg ko belajar? aku tak kisah ko nak kata aku apa pun….tapi aku berani cabar ko…cuba ko sms ker email tv3 setuju tak diaorg kalau ko cakap idea of bersanding is gay…mention skali ko ni org pandai tau sbb ko tau makna gay yg lain…ok?puas hati? klu tak puas hati sgt shad…ask ur deslack on how to contact me….we deal face to face then….tu baru melayu nama dia…berani?
July 6th, 2006 at 7:06 pm
Good job tuah!!!! Cuba jgn bermain dengan “WORDS” yang sememangnya ada makna laen. But if u ask malaysian about the meaning of GAY, i can gerenti u yang 9 out of 10 Respondent mesti cakap GAY is homosexual man!!! try not to TEGAKKAN BENANG YG BASAH!!! Ko cube tgk ayat die btol2.
Her: u x nak sanding kan?
Me: yeah
Me: i thought the idea is gay
Her: definitely
Her: looking like a pair of idiots on the pelamin
Her: haha
*translate* Me: Saya rasa idea nya adalah …………..
Is it GEMBIRA seperti yg u all cakap??Nop i dont think so bcoz they make a JOKE of that sentence man!!!So we can say that it is definately mean homoSexual aka PLU
July 17th, 2006 at 6:31 pm
i thought democracy (or human’s rights whatever) means the freedom of speech and having opinions even if it’s different from the rest of the world.
so tuah and adi,
you guys dared to have spoken out against deslack’s idea which i respected like the rest of us here (or for that matter, tuah, like wiping deslack’s ass, but why should you care, anyway?).
i can’t ask everyone to read enid blyton to understand the earlier meaning of gay coz it’s like asking you to accept that gay does have another meaning, a positive one.
tuah, guys do care whether they kahwin(read: have sex) or not. it’s the akad nikah that they feared, coz with it comes responsibility and the sky-high hantaran, though the union is legal.
that is why more and more andartus and brothels are numbering up these days. just because deslack had the gay opinion on bersanding doesn’t change anything. even when you planned on having one on your big day.
July 19th, 2006 at 12:32 pm
heyy eine i think u r d 1 here who wiping deslack ass (i think u r so in love with his black ass) if u r desperate for deslack just tell him u want his cock….tak payah nak cover2 line k bitch…just shut the fuck up……
August 18th, 2006 at 12:40 am
Tuah win! hell-yeah
August 23rd, 2006 at 11:48 pm
oh my. who are these freaks????? english terabo nak mampos. junjung tinggi melangit pasal Melayu, tapi tak beradab. wei. cermin muka sket la weih. you two sound so uneducated.
August 26th, 2006 at 11:14 pm
neemo? dah kalau bangsa sendiri tak nak junjung kau nak suruh sape junjung bangsa kau? si YAHUDI? kafir lakhanat? english terabo nak mampos? biarla…dalam kubur nnt malaikat tanya ko guna english eh……sound so uneducated? bole aku tau ape qualification tertinggi yg ko ader? plisss….nak tau jugak takat mana genius melayu sorang ni kan…
September 5th, 2006 at 6:57 pm
Enough, Tuah!
The more you write, the more idiotic people’s perception on you will be. Please do not make a fool out of yourself.
September 7th, 2006 at 9:46 pm
i love people perception on me..i dun have problem with that..thanx for being concern..i nevr make a fool of myself…i just want to make ppl especially u (Deslack) and bunch of ur asshole friend ( i believe some of them is jewish) dat the idea of bersanding is gay…bla bla bla….the thg u said before is totally RUBBISH
September 15th, 2006 at 11:32 am
read between the lines la. oh wait, i forgot that it’s something you’re not capable of.. otherwise you wouldn’t have stirred this thing up in the first place. anyway, i meant to say you sound uncivilized. doesn’t matter if we’re rocket scientists or merely garbage cleaners - if we lack good manners, we’re nothing. and you, my friend, backchatting ppl for something so trivial is just shameful.
October 26th, 2006 at 5:33 pm
salam
dear deslack and visitors of this blog
notice that comments have been made since april until oct for this entry alone. triggered by the word bersanding (and gay?). this just proved that meanings we give words, terms and concepts have dominant influence in moulding our attitudes and shaping our worldview.
and terms or concepts is always an abstraction or a generalisation that carries much more sublte and disguised cognitions than direct and straightforward meanings. this is quite often influenced by the cultural milieu in which the term is first used to give support to the ideology and way of life in that culture.
so dear friends, read back these comments (including your own) and think
salam.
October 26th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
and i have this to say to hang tuah (may the real hang tuah rest in peace and be in the company of rightoues people, ameen)
-biar mati anak jangan mati adat, adat bersendi agama, agama berpaksi hukum, hukum berpandu KitabuLlah dan Sunnah Rasul saw.
salam
May 15th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
to the pity fruityloom (lame)
-biar mati anak jangan mati adat, adat bersendi agama, agama berpaksi hukum, hukum berpandu KitabuLlah dan Sunnah Rasul saw.
May 15th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
to the pity fruityloom (lame)
ko ucap Assalamuallaikum pun x reti “salam” eh? kesian ko…sekolah agama sampai darjah brape? mandi wajib reti x? ahahhahaha cian…belajar la dengan omar…kot2 dia boley tolong ko….
May 15th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
to Neemo…
alah ko pandai nak mengata kalau backchatting org we r nothing…ko tu backchatting orang takpe….so defintly u r nothing rite? and of course shame on you asshole