Me: Our kids won’t be like that.
Her: Yeah, they’ll talk Ruby and Perl.

And I was told that I laughed the hardest she has ever heard.

One could’ve imagined for a restaurant with a typical 4-hour queue and managed to offer a ludicuruosly expensive dessert could afford at least a decent sanitary practice.

I mean, is it really too hard to pay a regular visit to the cold and damp areas to check on vermins?

And by the way, here’s a recipe for the famed Frrrozen Hot Chocolate, courtesy of Oprah.

Halfway through development, I was introduced to PHP3 and MySQL. And I feel there’s no need to continue working on it. It’s been sitting on my hard drive for ages until I decided to release it after those years. It may not be relevant nowadays in the world of complex CMSes and stuff, but who knows, somebody might find a use there :)

I’ll let you judge it yourself:

The list of Guestbook entries page, with a link to the Add new entry page. This will be the where the visitors get to view and add entries.

The GuestMaster Admin screen. This is where you get to manage the posts. Username: admin, Password: admin. The change password function won’t work, though.

And the download links:

GuestMaster 0.1 Beta, Gzipped Tarball, 11kB

GuestMaster 0.1 Beta, Zipped, 16kB

I wouldn’t recommend you using it in production environment as it is not tested. Besides, it is flawed security-wise on many areas. I trust you people to figure it out in a short time.

I am offering this script with no warranty. No support or whatever. Use it at your own risk.

The day before ‘Eid, we went shopping. While browsing through the departmental store, I found these:

Pilsbury’s Devil’s Food Cake mix, for the unholy ones out there.

And Buddha Jumps Over the Wall is the one that made me laugh really hard.

Her: how far and long uve been seperated from her?
Me: her who?
Her: ur mom lah
Me: i guess since birth.
Her: …
Her: *cubit*
Me: what
Me: betul laa

That is why the number of times the soles peel off, I’d superglue it back on. Some of my friends even advised me to get a new pair (can’t say I’d disagree, it is 4 years old and worn already) and each time I defended the shoe. It’s comfortable and I like it.

Update: I’ve posted images of the mutilated shoe.

Also I’ve got it all set up like a slip-on shoe. No need to fumble with retying the laces. And if you live in Malaysia and you visit many offices a day, this will save you precious time.

Till one day…

I was getting ready for work when I noticed that my left sneaker is missing.

Before that, allow me to highlight the nature of my house. I live in a two-storey shophouse. I have to climb a flight of stairs to reach home and as I’m living in a typical Malaysian house, footwears aren’t allowed inside the house. I put my shoe at the topmost step.

Imagine how odd the situation would’ve appeared to me. No thief would settle for a left shoe. Especially when they’re neatly placed side-by-side. And I wouldn’t think anybody would think to steal my shoe. It’s not remotely attractive at all. I’ve brought it along to mosques and other public functions and it has never been stolen.

As my home is also a tuition centre (my mom teaches,) and we receive guests almost all the time, it is quite normal to have footwears scattered down the stairs, kicked around by those brats. So I searched at the bottom, and outside. It might be under one of the cars parked outside.

But Nada.

I went to work with a pair of sandals. Then when I returned home at night, mother brought to me the news of my other pair:

Mom: Omar tau tak kasut lagi satu tu kat mana?
Me: Mana?
Mom: Kat belakang rumah, dekat dengan kedai keranda. Mak selalu lalu-lalang situ masa nak pegi pasar perasan ada sebelah kasut kulit kat situ. Sebelah je lak tu. Dah tiga kali mak perasan.
Me: Laa…
Mom: Mak ingat anjing bawak lari la. Mak ingat nak bawak balik, tapi tengok kat belakang kasut tu dah koyak-koyak kena gigit, mak biarkan aje.
Me: Dah memang patut kena carik kasut baru dah pun. Biar je la.

I think I’ll keep the other pair, in memory of the faithful sneaker.

Here are the pictures of the aforementioned victim. I hunted for it according to mom’s directions. It did not take long:

Him: nak tau satu kisah?
Me: apa kisah?
Him: ada la sorang kwn aku ni.
Him: dekat status y! dia.
Him: “i love you 218.111.150.10″
Him: 218 tu IP awek dia.
Him: ahahaha.
Him: ini sudah kronik.
Me: WTF

I don’t know about you, but this is just sick.

I would assume that only registered voters’ record would be shown, as when I entered my IC number, I get the “no records found” message. I expected that since I have yet registered as a voter.

If you’re going to assault on anyone, make sure it has a sound base. This is just pathetic because:

1. It could’ve been a legitimate voter after all. An old man aged 108. This makes sense as the deprecated, old IC number is printed right beside it.

2. There are some whose birthdate embedded in the IC number (the first 6 digits, in yymmdd order) doesn’t tally with their registered birthdate. Technical error during IC application.

3. How could an 8-year old bear an IC? The minimum age to apply for an IC (IIRC) is on your 12th birthday.

I guess those involved spreading this are losing their touch. They’ve put themselves in a position to be ridiculed. Definitely not fit to be a leader.

"Kita menganggap anai-anai sebagai musuh bawah tanah di bangunan kem tentera, malah jumlahnya jauh lebih banyak berbanding bilangan anggota tentera."

This evidently, is about termite attacks in government military buildings and offices. I wonder, with billions of cash thrown into getting ourselves nifty tanks and warplanes, are we that stingy to upgrade from the dawn of our independance?

The way he talked was as if the termites would be capable of overturning our armed forces. I don’t mind subtle exaggeration, but this is a bit off, don’t you think?

"Lazimnya dulu hanya bangunan kayu yang diancam anai-anai, tetapi sekarang ni nampaknya anai-anai macam dah ada teknologi baru kerana bangunan simen dan batu pun boleh dimakannya," katanya selepas melawat pangkalan Tentera Laut Diraja Malaysia (TLDM) Sepanggar di sini, semalam.

Okay, this exaggeration is way too far. It’s downright stupid. I won’t even bother to explain why.